Mir's Therapy

i'm really frustrated cuz i can't get thru to mrs b and she's supposed to go out w/me this wk, and we were supposed to schedule an appt on sat night. I also need her help with figuring things out. As of right now, I'm pretty clueless about what to do with my therapy. I wish money wasn't an issue, then things would be so much clearer! My Dr. said I have to be trying in order to work with her, and I have to admit, I didn't really try at all last night not to OD. Maybe I'm trying to make everyone mad so they'll have to send me away? Could that be it? I don't know what's going on!!!!!!!!!