made it clean for a wk

so, i made it clean for one whole wk. that's the good news.
My friend p**** and i got in feud cuz usually i'll wear a skirt when i c her, but on sunday i was in a really stinky mood and i was wearing pants and didn't want to change. she felt like i was disrespecting her wishes and i felt disrespected b/c she didn't focus on MY PAIN at all, just what i was wearing. We spoke about it on monday and she says its hard for her to look at me in so much pain. when she was having a hard time in high school i was her role model religiously and was the friend who stayed by her side, and now its hard for her to see me struggling. But if I dress appropriately then she claims she can empathize with my pain. but the truth is, no one can empathize.
This became a whole thing and i cut sunday and monday night.

Jen, i think you're the one who can understand the most. And I have to speak to the Rabbi about our relationship. I don't think its going to be a problem, but some of my religious ppl don't like that I'm friends with you.

Yom Kippur is coming soon and I want to take upon myself to speak in a clean way, which is supposed to prevent hardship.

Lunch with Mrs. B******* was amazing. Every time I talk to her its like a gain a new clarity, although this time she kept on telling me to talk to the Rabbi, that she couldn't answer my questions b/c they were difficult. But she's an amazing sounding board. We spoke about college, friends, shabbat.....
She told me I have to respect P**** and wear a skirt around her. She made it sound like P**** was doing me a favor to be friends with me. I was like, forget it, then I don't need this. At least she didn't say about me going from 10 to 0. That would've made me crazy.
I have to continue to not turn on the lights on Saturday or Holidays for 8 more weeks and then we can go out again. I'm going to try really hard b/c I really like going out with her.