yeh! stayed clean past the 2 wk mark

today was the first day past the 2 wk mark that I stayed clean.

This week I refrained from both cutting and using, but still felt horrible.

Today in art therapy I finished a collage on how I feel before, during, and after a cycle of using coricidin. We determined that its a cycle, because using just lets you off right where you started and it all begins again. JK asked me to do a section on positive messages to give myself instead of using and I have an idea that I'll probably start working on tomorrow.

Therapy was about finding things to do alone at night and giving myself positive messages in rough times. I have a list of messages which basically state not to harm yourself and that this is only temporary.

Took 1.5 mg of Ativan today instead of .5 that i'm supposed to take as prn. It makes me feel calm and sedated and I like that feeling. I needed a calm night, where it was ok to just be.